We probably all would like do-overs in our lives. Mistakes made, wrong choices, wrong and even harmful actions and behaviors taken by or done to us. I know that I’ve made and had my fair share—perhaps more than my fair share!
But sometimes the issues that we’re dealing with seem so severe—so daunting—that it seems nearly impossible to gain freedom from the adverse effects that would try to continuously haunt us in both conscious and unconscious ways. Ways that either subtly or blatantly color our perceptions and therefore can affect our current choices, and courses of actions.
Many folks enter therapy to try to find ways or techniques, and/or resort to the use of pharmaceuticals, to at least cope with those wrongful influences, if not to be free of them. Others seek diversions or escapes to repress, deny, or attempt to forget them. The down side is that that none of these approaches really work—really eliminate all of the negative echoes.
It doesn’t have to be that way, though. There is another way and, as I’ve found, it’s the only way that really gets the job done.
What is it?
God and Christian Science.
Let me tell you about one such experience. I’ve been married three times. My second marriage was to a wonderful woman—a woman I had re-met after a 20-year separation. We had been very close in college and then went our separate ways. For 17 of those 20 years, Margaret had been a Christian Scientist. She was the one that introduced me to this way of life—this way of healing and freedom.
We were married 5 months later. The minister at our wedding described our reunion as the stuff that movie love stories are made of. We were very, very happy.
During our 3rd year of marriage, my beloved Margaret became quite ill. Eleven months earlier I had become a member of The Mother Church and about 6 months after that had taken Christian Science class instruction—both God-inspired moves that I will be eternally grateful for.
I had been taking care of Margaret at home for a month or so when our Christian Science teacher recommended that she spend some time at a local Christian Science care facility. He also suggested that I take a room there for a couple of days so that I could have the time to pray and be quiet. We both agreed.
There was no question that I was dealing with a lot of fear and had it not been for class instruction and for the prayers of this dear man, I don’t know how I would have coped with the situation.
While at the facility and praying for myself and my wife, I came across a passage in Mary Baker Eddy’s Prose Works. I have no idea to this day what that passage was, but to my surprise it instantly triggered memories of my first wife and of that marriage—a marriage that had lasted for 14 years and was extremely tumultuous. There were of course good times, as most marriages have, but on two separate occasions—one during the 1st year and one at the end of it—she had attempted to take my life. The marriage ended in a bitter divorce. Emotional and psychological trauma would be a euphemism for the effects of those events.
Nevertheless, I had thought that I had already psychologically dealt with those issues. But here I was, praying for Margaret, when all of this—including the residual fears—came back in a flash. And with equal rapidity came a spiritual awareness that instantly wiped the slate clean. I suddenly gained a profound understanding of my first wife and could feel nothing but compassion and a sense of divine love for her. And that was that! The entire experience, from start to finish, lasted only a few seconds, yet God’s love and grace—and my ongoing understanding of Christian Science—had immediately set me free.
And that freedom has remained to this day. Whenever my first wife comes to thought, I have only the feelings of blessing her and knowing full-well that God is governing and guiding her life.
My friends, we don’t have to labor under false cycles. Freedom is inherently ours.
Mrs. Eddy wrote (Science and Health, p. 227):
Discerning the rights of man, we cannot fail to foresee the doom of all oppression. Slavery is not the legitimate state of man. God made man free. Paul said, “I was free born.” All men should be free. “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” Love and Truth make free, but evil and error lead into captivity.
Christian Science raises the standard of liberty and cries: “Follow me! Escape from the bondage of sickness, sin, and death!”
And so it is!
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Dear Ken, What a touching telling of this healing of your thought about your first wife! And I hope you will share the link to the article you wrote for the Christian Science periodicals about how you met your current wife. This blog and that article both share such wonderful and helpful ideas.
I’ve been married twice and am not currently married, but through prayer, which led to forgiveness, which led to a fuller sense of relationship, I am good friends with my most recent ex-husband and his girlfriend. We all have wonderful times together – most recently on the 4th of July this year and are planning to get together again in a couple of weeks. It is so helpful to see everyone as God’s child, in the family of man, as a brother or sister in divine Love.
Thanks so much! And how nice to hear of your healing re your ex.
By the way, I had already planned today’s post to be a “two-parter” that includes the very topic you suggested–how Carolyn and I met and the healing of grief that led to that door opening.
Wonderful. I’ll keep my eye out for installment #2. :O)